I think at this point, we can identify that our days of hanging out in the sand box and meeting our BFL in ten minutes or less are over. I’ve always thought of myself as a social person. Yet I began doubting when most of my friends moved away for school or love. I began to ask myself, “Why am I alone if I’m social and kind to others?”. If this has happened to you in your twenties (or other decades), I assure you that you’re fine. Things happen sometimes, and its up to us to adapt and reach out to new people! Here is your quick guide for how to make new adult friends easily.
1) Reach out to Strangers
Suitable for transit commutes, elevator rides and coffee lines. You can start conversations anywhere! The hurdle to jump here is getting over what others think of you. If you worry that you might be judged or rejected, you limit yourself in how many interactions you will start. If you get rejected, maybe say something like “That’s alright, have a good day!”. Not everyone is ready for new friends or situations. That isn’t to say you shouldn’t try. Saying a simple “hello” or inquiring about a person’s dog starts a solid rapport in making the conversation about them. Taking that chance is exactly how to make new adult friends easily. Quick chatting is a great way of finding common interests with low expectations. You may chat for ten seconds, or you may chat for ten minutes.
2) Take the Next Step
The biggest challenge for me was the next step. I liked a conversation that I was having once on transit, but when I reached my stop, I was unsure of what to do. I had a boyfriend, and wasn’t sure of how to convey that I wanted to stay in touch on a platonic level. Its funny that there are so many articles for playing a good dating game, but few for making new friends! I really regretted not giving my number to the person.
So what should you do? In exploring how to make new adult friends easily, try to find something in your conversation that denotes an event. Have you been discussing surfing? Ask them if they would be interested in going with you and your friends to a new spot. Or ask “Are you on Facebook?” and follow up with mentioning you could contact them if a surfing event comes up. This is also a good time to mention your intentions, like “Would you like to hang out sometime? I’m not looking for a date, but I’m always looking for new friends!”. The idea is to create an approachable invitation that doesn’t put too much pressure on them. They did JUST meet you after all!
Once you’ve got contact info, what do you even do? Oddly, I get the same feelings in this category as I do in dating. I wonder if I should text immediately. Or monitor the “chill” factor in my words. Inevitably, I will try to play it casual. Getting a new friend is so exciting, but regardless, this is still a new person. You maybe don’t know their history. They don’t know yours. Try to be as casual as you can. Again, less expectations means a more natural vibe and more to grow!
You could start by sending them a message after an interaction like “Hey so-and-so, this is Sarah! Great meeting you earlier. Just read that article you were telling me about, I can’t believe that happened!”. Don’t exhaust the conversation too quickly though. Maybe a few days later (or when relevant), initiate a plan or start a new conversation.
The Skinny on How to Make New Adult Friends Easily
I know this looks very cookie-cutter, as though these three points are exactly how to make new adult friends easily. But ultimately, every friendship will be and look different. Don’t sweat it if you guys are texting constantly upon your first meeting. And don’t panic if things go south.
As we age, it’s a tad stressful when our childhood buddies leave to explore the world or try new things. But its okay, how will we learn about that new cat café or get into a new hobby? How will we find new things in ourselves? New friends, that’s how. And now that I’ve eased you into how to make new adult friends easily, you are on your way. 🙂
If you liked this, you will definitely enjoy “The Unspoken Truth About Adult Friendships”.