If you have read my stories here before (like this one), then you know my experiences with love have not been film-worthy, let’s say. In fact, every time that I thought I was in love, it turned out to be something else in disguise. Excitement. Pleasure. Confusion. Rebellion. Hilarity, even just being tipsy. All of these, I confused at some point for love. My advice to you is to love yourself in the way you would want someone else to.
I mean it.
Take a yoga class. Enjoy a burger on a Friday. Splurge on a course that you think might develop you as a person. Be with your friends. Go grocery shopping, actually follow the list that you made. Volunteer. Treat yourself. Hug yourself. Bathe in the silence. Listen to your needs. Admire your photos instead of despising them. Hunger for development. Thirst for laughter, even just by yourself. Shape yourself by who you wish you could be, and create goals on how to get there. Take yourself out for a nice dessert. Be honest with yourself. Start creating routines that include your wellness and self care. Love yourself in the way you would want someone else to.
And meet people! The server at your table, the person you’ll never see again, the driver of your bus – stop looking for love and start looking for kindness, happiness and self-development. Start a conversation. Begin looking for new paths to try. Make your presence known, even just to you, as this is literally what it means to love yourself. Identify your needs and conquer. Love yourself in the way you would want someone else to.
Stop looking for what everyone else has. Start looking for what you want. Stop looking for the feelings that supposedly come through in Instagram photos, as though they tell the whole story. Start building yourself up, and stop putting yourself down – or others to make yourself feel better. Feel powerful and interesting. Sense the creativity and the fact that you are alive. And love yourself in the way you would want someone else to.
Define yourself by how you love yourself. Not by who, and how many people love you. Their love does not define you. Your love of you defines you. A healthy you is a happy you (most often), and in creating the ultimate experience for yourself, you are paving the way for your happiness. You are paving the way for a wonderful life, whether that is living alone or living with someone else. Being single, common law or married. Working abroad or at a desk in your city. Love yourself in the way you would want someone else to, and you will never waste another moment of your life.